Dreams

It happened again last night where I dreamt of blood, lots of blood, later finding out that it was coming out from below...I was bleeding so much it finally dawned I me that I was having a miscarriage. I scared myself so much I woke up to check. Luckily not a reality. Dream moods and the book said it was common to dream about a miscarriage during the 2nd trimester. But really, why is that so??? It's so disturbing! Since I'm so stressed out during the day, why can't my nights be peaceful??? I hope everything is ok with the little one...

Week 14

In the middle of week 14. It was a really hot day today. We ended up going to Walnut Creek to run a quick errand. But I don't know how we always manage to go when it's super hot! The trip sucked all the energy from me. We're slowly moving all the furniture back upstairs and putting the house back to zen order after the carpet was finally installed on Thursday! I actually am quite happy with the color! Been thinking more of how to rearrange the rooms.

As for pregnant me, since I'm feeling much better than my past 3 months, I'm trying as much as I can to do more exercising but the headaches and dizziness still bothering me. The heat isn't helping either. We finally took a picture of my growing stomach but unfortunately I think my butt is still bigger. Sigh. My eating habits are still fickle and ever-changing. Luckily smells are not repelling me too far from meat, but I have yet to eat any pork or beef. I'm definitely getting sick of chicken and trying to alternate to turkey, but it hasn't been easy finding carved turkey. Ham is still too strong for me and the smell of fish is still unappetizing. After getting sick from salad few days ago, I'm trying to be more careful with packaged lettuce. Unfortunately, because of my past experience with heartbeat, cheese, tomatoes and citrus have been off my list. Even the spices and pepppers in Mexican food is very unappealing. I've been drinking lots of vanilla milkshakes for the heartburn but the dairy is really doing a number on my stomach. I can't much take processed foods and potato chips because I can really taste all the sodium. Baby knows fresh from faux. Even candy taste too fake, very plasticy and papery. I definitely have my hubby's baby because it knows and only wants fresh food! At least it helping me slow my down my weight gain.

Also by the way, I finally met up with J & D last week and told them of the news. Their initial reactions were cool, but thereafter I felt alittle disappointed. I wasn't expecting much, but I felt slightly let down. But I received a card from D yesterday that made up for it a bit. Anyhow, it is what it is.

Anyways, I'm counting the days to Thanksgiving when I finally get to know more about my little one. We're armed with both names so either way we're prepared. I told myself no matter what, I won't be disappointed because this little one is an offspring of me and P. No matter what I'll adore it. All that matters is he's healthy, safe and ours forever.

April 15th???

Today was my first trimester integrated screening. I had the NT ultrasound done and resulted with a low percentile for down syndrome, but depending on what my blood work results, I won't know for sure until another week. This time baby C was lounging with not much movement. His heartbeat was about 153bpm, which was good. We received more pictures on a CD. Saw his arms, legs, skeletal outline, and his brain, which was cool. Again, I was mesmerized and speechless as the procedure was being done. All i can do was stare at baby C. The funny thing is that this time the measurement again resulted to a more earlier date of April 15th. I guess it's just meant to be an April baby since it's getting earlier and earlier by the minute. I'm noticing I'm getting more and more protective by the minute. I keep asking myself would it really matter if the baby is not a he, but instead a she? Would I be o.k. With that? I've been surfing the net and trying all sorts of quizzes and old wives tales to see if I can find out, but I kept resulting with a split decision. But replaying the ultrasound image in my head, all I hope is for it to be happy and healthy. I'll feel I'll love you either way. So is this what they mean about maternal love and bond?

So surreal - 12wks 1d

Week 12 day 1-official

Today was my second MD appointment at Dr. M. We're suppose to hear the heartbeat for the first time. P came along again because my appt was @2:45, so hopefully we can head straight home after. I know they listen to the heartbeat first, and if they can't find it, then I get my chance to finally have an ultrasound done. I've been so curious to see what's going on and if he's ok with all the cramps and pain I've been feeling lately. MD M. Was out today so we were scheduled to see the P.A. Wait was long and my patience was thinning. All I can think about was seeing it. After 20 mins, the wait was finally over. She ran the device all around to hear for the beat, and nothing. All i hear was interference. I then started to worry, but she calmed me by saying it may just be that the placenta wall was too thick. At one point I thought I heard it, but mistaken it for mine. She finally gave up and called for reinforcements. I was finally going to get my ultrasound done.

After another 15 minutes wait, I was finally called into the room. The wait got me so worried, I started to talk to the lil guy and prayed for him to give me a sign that he was o.k. Well, he gave a sign all right. There he was, head, feet, and arms. It was so surreal. I was shocked, speechless, dumbfounded, excited and giddy all at once. He kept moving around and jumping around rythmetically the Technician said it seems as though he got the hiccups. Which got me worried and had to ask if he was o.k??? He's just really active. He was quickly moving his arms and feet, I was blown away of how developed he already was! P was quite blown away as well. OMG! It's so surreal! Even now I can't stop looking at the picture and replaying that moment, that feeling all over again. I'm so glad you're alive and kicking! He was beating about 1540hbm. He was 5.53cm long (head to butt), so I was officially at 12 weeks, 1 day, which is 2days further than what was charted. Due date is actually 4/19.

P just scanned the pics so I can start gathering for the scrap book. I have another appt on Monday for the perinatal screening. Hopefully all goes well there. Again P will be there since it's another p.m. Appt. I already sent MMS of the pic to my friends and family. Unbelieveable. It's really happening.....

By the way, I brought down last week and finally gone to pea and the pod for jeans....now that was an experience in itself! I've gained 10 ibs already! Not a good sign. P already said I have a rounder face! Damn the carbs! Unfortunately the nausea is keeping me from fried foods (veggie oil/corn oil), beef, pork, onions and garlic. The heartburn is keeping me from the spicy foods, citrus, cheese, and anything soaking in oil. Basically been living off bread, cereal, apples, grapes, chicken, and basically anything bland. Quite sad. My cheese crave was 2weeks over and now I'm sick of the bun Mai sandwiches I've been eating for lunch 2 weeks straight. I know I need to eat more salads, but the gas and bloating is killing me! I can't even recognize my body! All my dresses and winter coats that I thought I can continue wearing, I can't. Surprisingly, I'm not too keen about getting bigger up top.