Been 5 days....

Since my life has been turned upside down. Last Tues. I took the test because I was I was suspicious that my usual visitor didn't show, and also I needed to find out whether I can drink at the Skyy event. It's been about 1.5 weeks late, but I wasn't quite sure as I realized I forgot to put the date in my calendar again. P was at night school, so I had the house to myself. I managed to find the tester amid the disorderly upstairs. This mess is really ruining my zen lately. Anyhow, I drank a full 8 oz glass of water to ensure I got an accurate result. After 30 mins. I went to the guest bathroom and followed the normal procedure. I sat patiently waiting for the results and watching the lines slowly appear. I didnt get a strong plus, but instead I got a dark vertical line, faint horizontal line crossing with a faint horizontal line in the small window. What does that mean! Unfortunately I didn't have the box or written instructions, so I ran to get the iPad and googled EPT. Luckily the instructions were printed online. I "think" it says positive, but so unsure. I quickly grabbed my bag, jumped in the car and headed for Cvs to buy another tester. I was late 7 minutes, and Cvs closed at 9 on the dot. Maybe Safeway would have it? After roaming the aisles for about 10 mins and finding an employee to guide me, I found the tests, but I was faced with the question of which kind should I get. There were some Safeway branded items on sale, but what quickly ran in my mind was the episode on SATC and Carrie quoting, "i just spent $395 on gucci, this is not the time to be frugal". So I ended up getting the digital stick that tells you the word and avoid having to decipher anymore lines. I picked up some bagel and cream cheese too, because I was too embarassed to pay for this box alone at the register.

I quickly darted home, grabbed another water bottle, and headed upstairs when I heard the garage door open, shoot, P was home early! Got so nervous, I opened the door, smiled at him, shut the door on him, and ran upstairs. When he got in, he shouted, "what are you hiding..." "Nothing" of course I replied, but of course I knew he knew something was up. I pretended to go about my normal night routine, waiting for a good time when he was busy so I could test again. 30 minutes later, he headed to the bathroom to do his normal night routine. Before, I could rush off to the other bathroom, the door opened again. P shouted from the bathroom, "Are you pregnant?!" Whoops, I forgot to shut down the EPT website left up on the ipad! Stunned, and not knowing how to answer...I slyly said, "No, you know I'm always on those sites, reading and trying to be prepared when the time was right." Dumb, Dumb. Really smooth, I know. Oh well, I'm never really a good liar, especially to P. He shut the door, not saying a thing.

It was my cue, so I ran to the other bathroom to test. P normally takes quick showers, so i had to move fast. After peeing with what little urine I had, I waited anxiously for the results. As the hour glass on the stick circled and circled, my anxiety was through the roof....come on results! Finally, it stopped, and what did I get???!!!! Not a "pregnant" or "not pregnant," but instead a "book" icon! WHAT THE HELL IS THAT!!!!! Hearing that P was almost done, I fumbled with the box, which referred me back to the instructions sheet that I ALMOST trashed. "Book error, either too much or not enough urine, try again." WHAT THE HELL?????

Not with much pee left in me, and hearing P turning off the water, frustratively, I discarded the wasted test discreetly in the garbage, and hopped into bed before he came out. I had to wait until tomorrow to try again. It was quite difficult to sleep because of the anxiety, but somehow the tension wore me out.

In the early morning, the first moment I had the urge to pee, I jumped out before the alarm went off. I ran to the other bathroom to take the test the third time. Three times a charm right??? After about 30 seconds of the hour glass cycling...I finally got a result, "PREGNANT." OMG. 2 out of 2. I was stunned and speechless. Didn't know what to say. Kinda happy and kinda freaking out. We weren't really trying but not preventing it either. People said it wasn't easy getting pregnant and it will take time...OMG, it apparently didn't take that much time! I was so lost, I jumped right back into bed, leaving the tests there, and waited for the alarm to go off. How should I tell P????

Finally the alarm went off, I quietly got up, and started my normal morning routine. Fifty questions was going in circles in my mind. P got up, turned on the news, and continued his normal morning routine not knowing what's going on. Finally, I just told him to please get the "scary spider" out of the other bathroom. I listened as he walked into the bathroom and waited for some type of reaction... "What are we going to do now???"

I'm still thinking of the same thing...it was silence all through the morning, and in the car on our way to work. And until this day, I think we are still trying to sort things out in our heads alone...what are we going to do now?