Unpredicable morning leads to a propitious future...

So it was an interesting morning today for me. P worked from home today so I opted to take the ferry in since I rather not deal with the morning commute alone. When I got to the City, I thought it would be nice to actually walk to work and enjoy the morning breeze. Why rush to work just to be locked up in a cube for 8 hours? The walk along the water boosted my spirits and it was kinda fun to peek into the Piers and enjoy the City scenery- Bay bridge, Alcatraz, Coit Tower. It reminded me of how much I really love the City! It took me 40 minutes to reach the office, but I was still right on time!

The rest of the day was pretty much the same. Annoying follow-up calls to make, endless emails to answer, and new projects to tackle. Towards the end of the day, my boss calls me in to give me a preview of my performance review. She complimented on how well I was doing and how I far exceeded her expectations, which of course was comforting to hear. (I never ever had a bad review in my whole career, but I still have this feeling of nervousness and readiness to embrace for some bad news) Anyhow, she then asked me to give her my growth goals and objectives next year. She wants to really know what I want to do at this company and how I plan to do it. She could tell that I get quickly bored at job, so she wants to be keep interested. So I need to tell her what I'm interested in. Hmmm...how can I really answer that since I'm pretty unsure what I'm interested in right now too? I'm sure that I hate being stagnant and want to grow as much as I can!

I asked her to truthfully tell me what kind of opportunities are there for me for movement. She did again state that there are some difficulty for me to move laterally and interdepartmentally, but it wasn't impossible. It's too early to tell since I haven't been at the company long enough to figure out what and where I could go. She admitted that it's difficult in this company to move up in title and salary but projects and learning growth are endless. I have the opportunity to learn whatever I want and specialize in whatever I'm interested: Trade Practices, Events, TMs, Database management, Regulations, etc. I truthfully responded to her that since I'm still new in the industry, I'm still trying to identify the specialities to determin which I'm interested in. She was definitely willing to give me a piece of everything so I can figure that out. Then, she asked me to think about my title. Since the company is going through some reorganization, i have the opportunity to change my title. Hmmm....what do I want to call myself that will and will not define me here, now and forever? What can I call myself that won't bind me or cap me at the company? What will provide me room for growth? And what is attractive enough for future employment elsewhere? Where is a recruiter or marketer when I need one? I'm never really good at marketing myself!

I figured since we were already talking about my future at the company, I decided to finally ask her the question. Is the only way for my salary and title to grow and to be taken seriously by our parent company, is to pass the bar and be an attorney? Luckily in CA, a person can take the Bar without going to law school if they have been practicing in the industry for so many years. (I basically hit 10+ years already) I've been toying this idea for months since I found out, but there's disadvantages and advantages:

Disadvantages:

1. I won't have the J.D., after my name. Just the title
2. Law school defines your intelligence. The better the schools are, supposedly the smarter you are. And if you don't go to a school at all, then you pretty much aren't that smart. I may even be seen as an ambulance chaser!
3. Law firms are school snobs. No school = no future at a firm. The firms are still filled with the Ivy League brothers, so if I'm not part of their secret society, then my chances of being a partner is dim. But then again, having been at firms for 7 years of my career, life as a partner isn't all that wonderful? I'll have to trade my life and soul again for money and prestige. Hence why I left the firm for inhouse!

Advantages:

1. I save myself from law school debt!
2. I save myself from 2 years of school! Exams, homework, stress, freshman 14! But then add to the disadvantage-I'll miss the experience of attending lectures, having good teachers to learn from, and making friends at school.
3. Since P's in school, we can't afford both of us in school.
4. I get to bypass taking the LSAT again! Yay! Hate stupid arbitrary tests!
5. And finally, a better salary and being respected by the Exec Management at my company?

So my boss honestly answered that her budget didn't include a 3rd attorney, but, it may in the future depending on the company's growth. She would like to have me as an attorney and take on more challenging projects. She didn't think the Exec Management team be against the idea if that's the only way to retain me. She also said she can try to get the company to pay for my bar review dues, but if I don't pass the first time around, I'll have to repay them. Hmmm... I think I rather fork out the money and save myself from the embarassment...in case I don't pass! Well, she added that it will take time for her to expand her budget, so I need to understand that the process will be slow...

So it's funny how life throws curve balls at you. It was just 2 days ago when I finally wrote about my mundane life to the world, and then this happens today. God are you listening? Did you tell my boss how bored I was getting? Or was it that I finally took time this morning, to slow down and enjoy simplicity, and to see clearly, that what I had right in front of me is limitless opportunities. Doors are ready to be opened by me. I'm not stuck in a dead end at all. I just need to choose. Hmmm...I think that's just as hard....door#1 or door# 2?